A Dead Man with Something to Say
I used to be a bored individual with nothing else to do.
I used to be a bored individual that did drugs in the loo.
I used to be a bored individual that slept around and screwed,
I used to be a bored individual that was so fucking bored I’d have even screwed you.
I used to sit on a wall watching the world go by, I used to sit on a wall so fucking angry I could cry.
I used to sit on a wall totally isolated feeling lost and confused,
I used to sit on a wall contemplating killing myself because I’d nothing else to lose.
I used to look through park railings with a group of junkies and a few wino friends;
I used to look through park railings as a means to an end.
I used to look through park railings thinking I might get a job,
I used to look through park railings thinking I’ll fucking sell my arse instead for just a couple of bob.
I used to stand in a subway holding out my hand,
I used to stand in a subway in the hope of doing a deal so that I might score a gram.
I used to stand in a subway because I felt exposed by the harsh daylight,
I used to stand in a subway going out of my mind trying to claim a fucking bed for the night.
I used to sleep in doorways of shop entrances in Tottenham Court Road;
I used to sleep in the doorways wrapped up in a sleeping bag away from the bitter cold.
I used to sleep in the doorways talking to my dead mother and other deceased friends,
I used to sleep in the doorways feeling safe and warm while enjoying the fucking glow that heroin brings.
The last thing I remember is lying down in a coffin watching the lid being screwed down,
Becoming cutely aware that my journey in life is finally over as I’m slowly lowered into the ground.
Left to wonder how a fucking accidental overdose caused my untimely death at only twenty-three
Such a high price to pay for trying to find the happiness I felt as a child living near the sea,
The resentment I feel is too much to bear,
The resentment I feel towards others that no one really cared.
The resentment I feel at not being able to integrate with society, the resentment I feel at wasting my life and abandoned by the bastard authorities.
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